As It Happens

Well this morning I think I managed to sleep for about maybe half an hour... fourty five minutes if I'm lucky. My heart rate all night was balancing around 44bpm resting and would dip lower when I started to doze off. My oxygen saturation was at 98% which I'm guessing means the heart rate is technically ok but it was still freaky having it goes so low. As far as I know thats a new thing for me. So in the name of fear I didn't sleep too well. Also it seems whenever I did start to doze off I'd get a whopping heart palpitation. It would seem sleep just wasn't meant for me.

My ever loving husband got up with our toddler and got her ready for school so that I could try to get a bit more sleep. Didn't work out quite that way. I was wide awake again by then... 

Upon getting up I realized my heart rate was up past 100. I'd be at around 65, stand up and it would pop up to 103 in a matter of seconds. That kind of ruined my day. Again I'm not sure how bad that is but it worried me.

I had an appoinment with our local aboriginal health clinic this morning. I was feeling pretty low due to all that has been going on with me so when I went in I was crying. Got through the intake though. Will be getting set up with a councillor hopefully before the end of the week. I was kind of hoping for some direction with this but at least I'll have someone to talk to. It is councelling and not full on psychiatry. I can work with that. I hope...

Once I came home from the appoinment I went up to my daughters room and tried to take a nap. I have a mattress set up on her floor so when my husband is not around I can go chill with her. Yes I'm dependant on others at this point in the game. It sucks but I am glad I havea supportive family to help me through this. I think I dozed off a bit but not as much as I would have liked.

After I gave up trying to sleep I came down and started cooking dinner. While I was cooking my step daughter told me she had a heavy feeling in her chest and felt like she was a bit short of breath. I had my oximeter on so set it up and got her to put it on to see what her oxygen level was at. After minute I said ok lets see how it is. Her oxygen was 97% which is good but her heart rate was 150. All she had done was stand and cook bacon. I'm going to push her to go see the doctor. Have a physical. She has Renauds Syndrome and I hope this is not a negative symptom of it. 

Well I finished din din and am relaxing. Debating trying for a nap again. Might prove to be another sleepless night. My schedule is definitely getting messed up. 

Doctors..... Doctors?

As in many things about life I am sitting balancing on a fence. I think I will have leg sores from the continuous pressure to my butt sitting here before I come to a firm decision about anything that really matters for me. Sad isn't it? Yet I still have an opinion. I just try to be a bit liberal in my delivery. Or do I....

I can understand that a doctor is just another person. Someone who went to school to learn a hell of a lot more about the human body than I could ever hope to know. I also understand that depending where a doctor is taught be it his/her country, province/state, or even city, could alter to a degree what that particular doctor learn. Also different people have different passions so they would gravitate towards that area more than anything else. All in all this makes doctors seem more like fingerprints. No two doctors are the same. When a client finds him/herself a family doctor they have no idea what that doctor really has to offer. All the basics are there, but for tough cases has that doctor read up on the latest journals that could help dealing with it? Some doctors may cover all sorts of updates on health, but others more in their interest level. I believe it is entirely possible for a doctor to either have no clue about whats really going on. So many people go in to their doctors treating them like a god. Thinking they know it all and that whatever ails them WILL be fixed. Which is why when in some unfortunate cases it all goes wrong they feel the right to sue said doctor. I could never sue a doctor just for getting it wrong. I guess this is where it can get complicated though. There are some docs out there that don't really give a crap what they say or do. They are willing to prescribe anything to anyone for the right price and they are the one's that should be sued. The question is, if they are really good at playing the game how is one to tell? So what... just sue them all?
All I know at this point is, my doctor thinks she knows what is wrong with me, but she has no clue. I have no clue either and it really SUCKS that she isn't able to just pull a Lucy, touch me and just know exactly what's going on.