I've come through a lot in life. For example I've learned to type just as fast with a broken "c" key. It was a hurtle I'm telling you!! XD
I have in many ways let my health down but I am trying to do what is right for me and my children to bring that back up. My eldest daughter and I are taking baby steps to bring ourselves into focus (if you saw that bit of typing you'd be proud of my "c" move right there). We haven't been able to completely take everything toxic out of our lives, but it is the goal we are moving towards.
Just over a year ago my body gave out on me. It took me about four months to refover (<--- "c" fail...) from the effects of what had happened. It was a BIG eye opener for me and my eldest daughter. My younger daughter was a bit too young to really understand what was going on and I did everything in my power to not let it effect her in a negative way. I did a lot of thinking after I started getting back into life again. I knew there were things that I would have to change in order to completely heal. I believe I have always had a pretty open mind, but for this I did my best to get a bit further out there in order to look at myself from the outside and try to see what was really making my life crumble.
Today I am living a chemically cleaner life. I am starting to breath better by eating better. I do need to pick up the physical activity but it is a work in progress.
The biggest thing I need to do though is to be ok with me. I've spent so much of my life being who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. Going for what others wanted me to go for. Sure they may have worked out but deep down inside it was not what I really truly wanted for me. I started college heading for a career I was very good at but not completely happy with. I met someone that at the time seemed to be the perfect guy and even when things didn't seem to run smoothly I married him and we took in a baby together. Right now I love my family. Tam has been through so much with me and she and I are each others rock. I'll never truly pick sides on the whole idea that your child is NOT your friend, but Tam and I have good days and bad but in the end we are always together. We will fight the world together. Possibly until she finds true love and realizes he's her rock lol. I love my girls very much and I do feel like we are in a good place now.
I have been going through the emotional stages of a marriage separation. He and I won't be able to legally divorce until next fall and up until this time I have had nothing but contempt for him, but I do know that he is only human and that my feelings are my own. I am learning to accept the things that have up till now made me so very bitter and resentful towards him and to be ok with ME. I watched my younger daughter go through her stages as well. He and I are both working towards a positive life for her and in a way that makes it hard because it means we are still in need of communicating with each other, but we are doing well with it.
I'm feeling rather proud of myself today with the things I have accomplished within the past year. It has been a busy year indeed and I continue to move forward. I just wanted to get that off my chest (chest... chest... chest... no "c" fail THERE!!). :)
