I'm probably writing/typing this half asleep, but this is the moment and we CAN'T let the moment pass! In about three minutes I've scheduled myself to do a workout like no workout I've done before, but that would be a lie. I did a work out with a trainer this past Friday that would put anything I've EVER done to shame. Hmmm I guess then what I mean to say is that HAS put anything i've ever done to shame. See? Half asleep...
This morning was a rough one. I woke up late and never did get in to talk to my bosses boss about the topic of taking three weeks off work for personal reasons. No it's not a vacation. It will be structured time where I will diligently form a working schedule for my body and soul to follow and hopefully successfully break free. Do I need to break free!! After unsuccessfully talking to Mr. Bossman I proceeded to talk to two other people within the chain of command. Among them my foreman. He has been quite understanding with my situation and on a couple occasions throughout our convo this morning my eyes teared up. Now THAT'S comfort... Actually no, that's just me being my usual wimpy self. Well tears and steel toe boots aside my hubby and I went home where I then gathered my daughters together so that I could drop the youngest off at preschool with the older being my current shoulder should I need it. Or in layman's terms, someone to perform CPR on me should I suddenly pass out from whatever ale's me and keep my body from expiring before I'm ready. We won't mention that part to her though. Fingers crossed she'd do it automatically should the need arise instead of standing there staring down at me wide mouthed and panicky. I love you my girl!! I love your company!! You know that. *hugs* After dropping the youngest off at school, we then took to the parkway and made our way over to our dr. office so I could make an appointment for either this week or next. I needed to get in there and spill my guts in all it's awkward glory! Then watch as she sits and mulls it over and finally tells me she'll send me for some more testing on some part of my body that has yet to be tested (sigh of relief) and then tell me therapy is not that far down the road. Apparently all paths lead to therapy. Managed to fit myself in next Monday. Just have seven more days to keep myself alive. Goals are my life!! SSAUM!! :D By this time it's around 9:30am and we are heading even further away from home to a mall where I can walk, sit, walk some more, hopefully sit more and allow my daughter to buy some much needed clothes. This is were things get sticky. We get to the mall, we walk, I sit, we walk some more and I start to feel like I just walked all the way up to the top of the CN tower. We took a break at the food court and grabbed a bite to eat. I managed to eat about 2/3 of my meal (quinoa with mango, chicken, zucchini, sweet potato and walnuts) and hardly any of my juice (carrot, pineapple, apple and kale). LUV IT!! but hate it... I had visions of passing out from lack of something (something that felt a lot like oxygen, but who knows...) and not being sure I'd wake up in the hospital or even worse on the floor of the mall where i fell. Scary s#@t! I asked my girl if we could go home and try again in the afternoon. She was good with that. We get in the car and I carefully make our way home thus ending yet another morning in the life of Mona's Apolis. Whatever that might mean. Yeah... that was only the morning.
My afternoon was a lot better. My breathing came back though I was left with a heavy feeling in my chest that took most of the afternoon to dissipate. I sat at my computer, updated our budget (something I had apparently missed since around the end of October... oops!), decided to look up agoraphobia in depth and play a little Minecraft with my daughter. All in all it was a rather quiet afternoon. I did squeeze a call in to the ear, throat and nose dr to reschedule an appt I had to cancel a few months prior. I had swallowed a pumpkin seed and it must have been having a bad day of it's own because it was NOT having any of that nonsense! I felt it struggle the whole way down taking what felt like half the flesh in my throat with it. *sniff sniff* I guess it was a blessing in disguise. I can now get my throat checked out and a) make sure it healed nicely and b) make sure there is nothing else wrong down there that could be causing breathing issues. End of Jan. My January is filling up. Since making the decision to take time off work I told my hubby I would take over driving our toddler to and from school without him in the car. Although I didn't say I wouldn't utilize the power of older children!! :D I know... too sly for words eh? So I recruited his daughter, since mine had gone to the local gym to work out, and we bustled on out to gather the two from the cold harsh world. The drive went quite well. It would seem that once I started to think possible agoraphobia, which means if that WERE what I was currently entangled in, then I probably wasn't about to keel over and die from some vitamin deficiency or other. Hmmmm coincidence or am I really headed for that therapy session? We gathered our happy weather girl, then moved on and scooped up the work out girl, headed home and proceeded to watch Dora with our ball of energy. I know... so many creative ways to make reference to the children. Yeah... it confuses me too.
So here I sit. After eating a filling din din (ribs cooked in pear sauce, potato's fried with peppers and a pineapple/orange juice to wash it down), I am now typing up my days events and feeling NO pain! o.O What's up with THAT?!?! I feel like I could rule the world now! Come back in half an hour... that could all change. :)
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